Not a good week.

It has been a week of bad decision making, negative emotions and stuff beyond my control going wrong. The idea of this blog is to write it all down and let it all go as of midnight tonight. So starting tomorrow (Monday) a wonderful week will start.

My motivation to workout has been non-existent. On Monday I went to a morning yoga class and then made excuses for every other day of the week. So for the whole week my exercise consisted of standing at work and the little bit of working out I do while I am coaching gymnastics. At the beginning of the week I thought, "Well, running is supposed to be fun, so I will take a day or two off because my mind clearly needs a few days." But that obviously turned in to a whole freakin week.
So my lack of exercising made me feel guilty and lazy which lead to mood swings (which were already bad enough with Aunt Flow in town) and then to bad eating decisions. When I run, I tend to crave food that is actually good for me ... food that fuels my body so that I can perform better. But because I was getting into a lazy pattern, I was sleeping more and craving sugary foods and coffee. And of course I caved to almost every craving.
I attempted to go to the gym last night, but they closed early for cleaning. I was 9pm, so it was too late and dark to run outside. Today I also attempted the gym, but that fell through and I remained on the couch for the evening. In order to make sure I get back out tomorrow, I text Pam. We are running together at 11am.

The whole student loan thing came up again this week. After they had declined me due to my immigration status a few months ago, I had put it behind me and started looking for other options. But last week a letter came in the mail to say that I had been accepted for the loan after all. I afraid to get excited. Dad called the loan company to see what it meant. After they explained to dad that all I had to do was accept the terms etc I called them to get ready to do so. I started getting excited thinking that I was finally going to return to school and finish my degree. Then on Friday morning I get a voicemail from the loan company saying that they were ready for my signature and that they just needed a few documents.
My heart sank at the word 'documents' because I knew they were talking about my permanent resident card, which I do not yet have. The tears started rolling before I even called them. I didnt want to call because I wanted to hold on to that tiny bit of hope they had given me. But I plucked up the courage to call. After a ten minute conversation I had come to realize that I was not getting the loan. I was devastated all over again and cried on my drive to work. Fool me once, shame on you ... fool me twice, shame on me.
A few months ago I told them to cancel my application ... they obviously didnt. It feels like they are dangling my future on a string in front of me and it is just out of reach.

So that has been my week. I am now taking a deep breath and hope that midnight will bring me to the greener grass. But dont get me wrong, there were some wonderful moments in my week ... My anniversary, I love my job at Native Foods and I love coaching gymnastics. So may my jobs and my love continue to fuel my life :)

ABC's of me.

A fun little blog so that my Blogger friends can get to know me a little better  :)

A~Age: 24

B~ Bed Size: Queen

C~Chore you hate: Laundry, because I have to plan my whole afternoon around it. But I do love having all those clean clothes once it's finally done.

D~Dogs: 1: Rat terrier mix named Brutus.

E~Essential Start your Day Item: A filling breakfast, whether it's cereal, eggs, or something more. I cannot leave the house without breakfast. If I do, it better be because we are going to Ihop or something.

F~Favorite Color: Don't really have one. I like all colors ... but most of my clothes are black.

G~Gold or Silver: Silver or white gold. I am really not a fan of yellow gold.

H~Height: 5 feet 1 inches ... well, almost haha

I~Instruments you play: I have tried and failed to learn many instruments. I will leave all the musical stuff up to my sister.

J~Job Title: Student/Server at a Vegan restaurant/gymnastics coach

K~Kids: Brutus is my only child.

L~Live: Irvine, California

M~Mom’s Name: Paula

N~Nicknames: Little Taco (which was shortened to LT), Mini ... those are the main ones.

O~Overnight Hospital Stays: Absolutely none :)

P~Pet Peeve: When other people make me late. Taking food off my plate without my permission. Talking on your cell phone while ordering food with me (at the restaurant).

Q~Quote from a Movie: My all time favorite comes from 'Finding Nemo' --- "Just keep swimming ..." because it can be applied to anything in life.  

S~Siblings: One little sister, Laura who will be 18 this month. Guess that means she isnt so little any more.

T~Time you wake up: Different times everyday ... but anywhere between 7:00am - 10:30am ... It just depends on my work/running schedule for that day.

U~Underwear: Necessary. But I will happily admit that I chose comfort over style.

V~Vegetable you Dislike: Do pickles count? --- I like almost every single vegetable that I have ever tried.

W~What Makes You Late: Facebook! Or sometimes walking to dog.

X~X-rays You’ve had Done: ummm, dental, foot, chest ... so 3.

Y~Yummy Food you Make: I love experimenting with vegan and vegetarian dishes. My seasoned roasted carrots are pretty awesome  ;)

Z~Zoo Animal Favorite: Elephant, hands down! 

Personal Record :)

I cannot believe that it has been almost a week and I am only getting here to write about my 5k race now. Last Saturday, February 26th, I had a 5k race. It was called the Hope and Harmony 5k and it was benefiting cancer patients.My goal for this race was to beat 30 minutes, which I did twice during my training. Almost a year ago I ran a 5k race in just over 34 minutes, so just to beat that would have been cool.
Anyway, long story short, I totally blew my last time and my fastest training time out of the water! My fastest 5k training time was 00:29:40 ... I ran the race in 00:23:44!!! Can you believe that?! I ran three 7.5 minute miles in a row. I have never ran a mile in less than 9 minutes before. I guess the training has been paying off and determination has a lot to answer for!

L-R: Travis, Lisa, Amanda and Myself before the race.

We had perfect running weather. It had rained all night long and stopped just about two hours before the race started, so the air felt clear and crisp. It was a little chilly though, so layers were necessary. Feeling pretty confident I stood near the beginning of the pack with plans to stay upfront as much as possible.
In the first mile quite a few people passed me, but having trained quite a bit, I knew my pace and stuck with it, even though I felt like I was being left behind. I just had to stay in my zone. My friend Pam, who I have been running with, told me that when it starts getting psychologically tough (around mile two), just focus on passing one person at a time, and to count every person that you pass. I did exactly that.
Around mile two, a lot of people that had passed me started walking. Having kept my pace, I didn't need to walk. So I started counting all the people I passed to keep my mind off of my tiring body. I passed a total of 14 people before I was just keeping up with the people running the same pace as myself. By the time that happened I was in my groove and there was no longer a need for distraction.
I remember only one person that I was keeping up with. It was a male runner probably in his 40's. I only remember him because of his lime green shoes hahaha.
I remember rounding the last corner and thinking, "What? I'm finished?? Noway!" I couldn't believe that I had completed the race already. I crossed the finish line and suddenly felt exhausted, but the runners high set in almost immediately and I felt great.

Getting ready to cross the finish line.

My finishers Medal

I was a great race to start off my year. I have plans for a 10k race on March 26th and a 10 mile race on May 14th. So I am upping my miles slowly and Pam is sticking right by my side  :)
Onwards and Upwards my Fellow runners!
Keep Running  :)